


How Not to Play Gay Chicken

by Mousieta



Category: K.A.R.D (Band)
Genre: Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Gay Chicken, Humor, M/M, Sloppy Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25582042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mousieta/pseuds/Mousieta
Summary: Matthew and Taehyung are spending an evening in their apartment with a whole case of soju. One thing leads to another, leads to Matthew explaining the finer points of Gay Chicken.
Relationships: Matthew Kim | BM/Kim Taehyung | J.Seph
Comments: 21
Kudos: 83





	How Not to Play Gay Chicken

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for a description of what happens after one has eaten way too much, drunk way too much, and spun around one time to many. (AKA someone is gonna sick up)
> 
> Completely and totally unbeta'ed. I just needed to release this into the wild.

They were drunk. They were  _ both _ so, fucking, drunk. Taehyung looked up at Matt - because the jerk was always so much taller than him, even seated - and giggled. Matthew looked down at Taehyung and giggled. And snorted. 

They fell over one another, laughing, wheezing; there were tears. 

“Have another?” Taehyung asked and Matthew roared a yes, long limbs flailing across Taehyung.

“Hey!” Taehyung swatted ineffectually at Matthew, an attempt to defend his honor as Matthew managed to cop several feels of pectoral and bicep on his way to the stash of unopened soju bottles. 

Matthew smirked as a metal bottle-cap pinged onto the ground. A third of the bottle later, Taehyung watching him in a bleary haze, he pulled off the bottle with a loud pop. “Like what you see?” Matthew leered as he attempted to waggle his brows. 

“Whatever,” Taehyung scoffed as he swiped the bottle. He did, in fact, like what he saw but he’d be damned if he actually said it. “Jus’ cuz ya know you’re hot or,” he slurred, leaving the thought where it lay in favor of gulping down the next third of the bottle. 

_ You said that outloud _ . The thought drifted over his mind as he drank. “Oops.” He pressed the cool bottle to his forehead. 

“I  _ am _ hot,” Matthew mused, nodding philosophically. “It’s the tiddies, bro.”

“Shutup?!” Taehyung’s head jerked as Matthew took the bottle. He held it up as if posing for a CF, chest puffed out.

“It’s - the - tiddies.” Each syllable was punctuated with a chest pump. Taehyung tried to roll his eyes then realized he was actually just staring. Matthew’s shirt was large and loose, gaping holes where the arms should be, leaving his long lean torso only minimally hidden. It was, in fact, the tiddies, he acknowledged. 

“Glad you agree.” Matthew finished off the bottle. 

_ Fuck _ , he’d spoke out loud again. Taehyung cringed and realized there was nothing else for it but to grab another bottle. “What are we celebrating again?”

“Uh, the girls calling us assholes for the-” Matthew looked to the ceiling, fingers fluttering as though he were counting - “millionth time.” 

_ Ah, right _ . Taehyung nodded and lifted the bottle in salute. 

Matthew glared at him. “Dude, stop staring, it’s gay.”

“Not gay.”

“Yes it is.”

“ _ No _ , I’m not gay.” Technically he was bisexual, so it was true. 

“Dude I’m bi too!!! Thats awesome!!” Matthew’s large, long, heavy as fuck arm fell over Taehyung’s shoulders. “Congrats!”

Taehyung shrugged Matthew off, nearly fell over then overcorrected, landing his face square in Matthew’s lap.

“Oh genius! We can play gay chicken!”

Taehyung spluttered. What in gay nonsense was gay chicken?

“I’m glad you asked.” Matthew cleared his throat and sat up straight. “Gay chicken is a game in which two people of the same gender each pretend to be gay and come on to another through an ever escalating series of one-up-manships in an attempt to get the other to balk at just how gay it gets and see who chickens out first.”

Or at least that was what Taehyung was able to glean from the random series of words in barest semblance of sentences that Matthew managed to spew forth. 

“That - that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Of course it does! You just dare each other to be more and more gay.”

“But -” Taehyung fought through haze. None of this made sense but he couldn't seem to generate enough coherence to explain. “That doesn’t make sense!”

“Of course it does!” Matthew flung his arms wide and Taehyung whined as soju splashed out to puddle on the floor. “It’s a fun game.” 

“But we can’t play it!” 

“Why not?”

“Because!” The idiot wasn’t making any sense and Taehyung had had enough. He grabbed at Matthew’s shirt. Surely, if he shook hard enough he could rattle some sense into him. “Because we’re both bi! We like boys.” He was nose to nose with Matthew and realized he had, somehow, crawled into Matthew’s lap, legs spread on either side of Matthew’s thighs, Matthew’s hands spread over his hips and around to half cup his ass.

“Yes! That’s the spirit!” Matthew grinned up at him. “See now I gotta try to not kiss you while actually trying to kiss you - uh - or something.”

“You idiot! We can’t play this game because I’d  _ actually _ fuck you!”

Matthew groaned. “Fuuuck, yeah, that would be amazing.” He rocked his hips up and pulled Taehyung forward, grinding their groins together. Taehyung yelped the groaned. That  _ did _ sound amazing and -

Taehyung moaned and closed his eyes. “Fuck you’re big.” He fell forward onto Matthew’s chest - also big and firm, dear god - and let Matthew rock him down, his cock hard against Taehyung’s torso, his own cock pulsing in response. 

“You would be such a great fuck,” he slurred out. 

“You- fucking - know it.” Matthew’s breathing was labored, the sound of it hooking itself around his balls and tugging deliciously. 

A thought flitted through Taehyung’s mind. “See! This is why we can’t play your stupid game!”

“It isn’t stupid! Gay Chicken is a time - honored-”

“You already lost!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not! I haven’t chickened out yet!”

“No- wait-” Taehyung tried, he tried so hard to work through the tangle of words jumbling around him. “That’s not how it works!”

“It is though!” Matthew rolled and, miracle of miracles, managed to land them on Taehyung’s back on the couch, his weight pinning Taehyung as he settled between his thighs. “See, watch!”

Matthew dropped his head so slowly, inch by inch. “This is totally gay, look at how close I’m getting.” 

Taehyung rolled his eyes then closed them as the world teetered on its edge. “Moron,” he muttered then picked his head up to meet Matthew’s. Their lips connected, just barely. He got a solid helping of moustache stubble but a quick shift aligned their mouths. 

“Mm-g’nah win,” Matthew muttered into the kiss then opened his mouth and flicked his tongue over Taehyung’s bottom lip. 

Ok, he tasted like soju and the wings they’d eaten earlier, but Taehyung didn’t care. Matthew was a damn good kisser and Taehyung gave back as good as he got, sliding his tongue into Matthew and swirling it around, a tease of just what he could do with a cock head. He pulled off to catch his breath and snapped out, “We aren’t playing!” then resumed kissing. 

They were grinding against one another again, Matthew had to arch his back up to align their cocks just right. Fucking giant. 

“You like that, though,” Matthew said.

“Shut up and keep kissing.”

“We should just fuck already.”

Taehyung groaned. It had been so long since he’d been fucked good, since he’d had an ass full of cock. And Matthew was so damn big, he ached just at the thought. 

Matthew’s groans echoed his. “Shit, you’re so hard, you feel so good.”

“Alright-” Taehyung sat, dislodging Matthew who toppled to the floor with a yelp, “get naked, lets do this.” He had to close his eyes again, though. The room would just not stop spinning. 

“Wait!” Matthew stood and ran to their room.

“What are you doing!?”

“Safe sex!” he screeched and Taehyung heard him ripping into a box and a tell-tale crinkle of wrappers. He huffed out a laugh and hauled off his shirt and slithered out of his shorts before kneeling on the ground.

Matthew ran back to their living room and took out the standing lamp illuminating the room. It fell onto the rug with a crash, winking out and plunging them into darkness. “Shit.”

“Leave it,” Taehyung snapped. He was hard and leaking, half naked and needing to be filled. “We know what we’re doing.”

Matthew laughed and Taehyung could hear him moving around in the dark, ending up somewhere behind where he’d knelt down on all fours. Perfect. 

“This is so gay, you’re not going to be able to top this,” Matthew said, voice muffled. 

Taehyung just rolled his eyes, done with the ridiculous argument. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered at that moment but the fact that he was about to be split in two by Matthews long, hard, thick - 

He blinked in the darkness. Matthew should surely be naked by now. He’d only had a loose shirt and basketball shorts. Had - had the idiot passed out?

He fumbled for the shorts on the floor by his knees and pulled out his phone, flicking it and shining the flashlight over his shoulder. 

Matthew was on all fours behind him, all long and lean muscle, looking absolutely delicious … with his ass waving in the air. 

“Aye,” Matthew yelped at the blinding light. 

“What are you doing?!” Taehyung demanded. 

“We’re going to fuck!” 

“Yes, you’re going to fuck me!”

“No - whu? Huh?” Matthew’s dumb face blanked at him. “You’re going to fuck me?”

“I - you -” Taehyung whirrled around to explain to Matthew exactly how dumb this was but the world chose that exact moment to rattle apart at the seams. 

He heaved, stomach opting out of life. 

Vaguely, he was aware of Matthew scrambling around him. A firm hand settled on his back and he lost his dinner, his lunch and a prodigious amount of soju along with his will to exist. 

As the retching subsided he realized that a steady hand was stroking his back, Matthew’s soothing shushes calming him. 

“Fuck, dude.” Matthew gave a low whistle. Taehyung had filled half of the chicken bucket they’d emptied earlier. 

Taehyung tried to thank Matthew, tried to apologize, tried to function through the blur of reality swirling around him but laying down was about all he could manage. A water bottle was pressed into his hand and he took a swallow, mustering all his strength to spit into the bucket before he collapsed again. 

There was movement around him, the coolness of being left to lay under the oscillating fan alone, then the heavy warmth of a body pressing against him. 

He tried to shout to Matthew that he was supposed to be the one taking the dick not the other way around. He tried to move off the string of condoms that lay under his cheek. He tried to explain that gay chicken was a stupid game. He failed in all these things as he passed out. 

* * *

“Oh. My. God.” Jiwoo’s voice crashed into Taehyung’s brain. 

Taehyung tried to fight it off, swinging an arm around valiantly. “G’way”

“What -” Somin’s voice stamped down on him, “-the hell did you two do last night?” 

“Chicken,” Matthew grumbled and his voice came from above Taehyung. 

Cracking an eye he looked up right into one of Matthew’s obscenely large biceps. He shifted, body screaming, and realized Matthew was almost completely on top of him. 

“Why are you naked!” Jiwoo screeched and fractals pierced Taehyung’s skull. 

“Chicken,” Matthew repeated and Taehyung wriggled, trying to get out from under him. 

“It smells like ass and puke in here,” Somin said, voice riddled with disgust. 

Taehyung gave up. There was no explaining. Gentle prodding of his brain provided nothing but snatches of eating, of alcohol and - agreeing with Matthew - something about chicken. 

“Clean up, you two, we have a schedule in two hours.” Jiwoo was beyond done with them and he apologized to his future self who would have to deal with her. 

“The fuck happened?” he whispered after the door slammed shut behind the girls. 

“Chicken,” Matthew muttered again and Taehyung nodded then winced. Obviously, chicken. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Totally and completely inspired by [ this glorious comic ](https://preview.redd.it/wn0bflvug1t21.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=8dbaf258fe761498d6252628918ae185137a17f5)  
> Warning: it is incredibly NSFW


End file.
